Why in God’s Name Is Anyone Watching the Presidential Debate Tonight?

Social media and news outlets are literally vibrating like cats in heat with calls for all of us to watch the presidential debate tonight. The pundits are going on about Trump’s being graded on a curve, Clinton having to do this or that to avoid something or another, and quite honestly it’s all a bunch of sound and fury signifying, well,  nada .

I will not be watching these debates. At all.  Nunca .

I mean, why should any of us?

Social media and news outlets are literally vibrating like cats in heat with calls for all of us to watch the presidential debate tonight. 

Everyone has had their fill of both of these candidates. We know who they are. One is a bombastic, faux populist, aspiring Mussolini with an ego the size of one of God’s limitless turds. The other is a neoliberal corporate-owned Democrat-in-name-only identity politics obsessive who will gladly sell the working class, organized labor and black people down the river as long as it helps Goldman Sachs and corporate America make a hefty profit.

Even if you don’t agree with my assessments, can you honestly tell me you haven’t chosen a side yet?

I have yet to meet a swing voter, at least not as concerns these two candidates. I know a small fraction of people weighing the cons of Clinton versus the aspirational candidacy of Jill Stein or a Bernie Sanders write-in vote. I know no one and I know of no one who is deciding between Trump and Clinton. The choice is so facile, no matter which side of the political duopoly you align yourself with, there’s hardly need for any further discussion, especially between the candidates themselves.

That said, the only real decisions that these debates could potentially settle are those of the independent voters considering Jill Stein or Gary “What is Aleppo?” Johnson. God-fearing, pot-loving Republicans who find Trump’s brand of shit-in-your-hand-and-call-it-gold balderdashery will likely vote for Johnson. What other choice do they have? Hardcore Bernie Sanders’ supporters and Green Party independents will most definitely vote for Stein. Which leaves us with the wishy-washery of some percentage of registered Democrats who are stuck between Clinton and Stein, and are most likely to vote for Clinton out of fear. Ostensibly that is fear of Trump, but to be honest, it is actually fear artificially manufactured by the structural fuckery that is our winner-take-all voting system.

This debate will be a rhetorical, fact-challenged shit show with Clinton condescending to Trump and to us, with Trump rolling his bloated pig eyes and spouting predictable socially ill-advised insults about women and minorities. 

Does anyone actually believe, however, that an overhyped, celebrity-moderated non-fact-checked debate that excludes the independent candidates and gives free reign to Trump’s ratings-jacking bully act is really going to help anyone make a rational decision regarding who to vote for? Do you really believe that the media, which donated tens of millions of dollars to Clinton but which has made hundreds of times that amount airing Trump, is going to suggest there was a real winner? Do you really believe that the unbridled corporate greed of NBC and all of its money-fucking incestuous cousins are going to stop belaboring the clear and easy choices you have to make? Why in God’s name would they?

Watching this debate will do no one any good. It will not clarify anything. It will not end in a way that pundits declare the election virtually over. It will be a rhetorical, fact-challenged shit show with Clinton condescending to Trump and to us, with Trump rolling his bloated pig eyes and spouting predictable socially ill-advised insults about women and minorities. It will be, in other words, nothing you haven’t already seen and heard hundreds if not thousands of times already.

The only real result of watching this debate will be this: Corporate media will have suckered you into watching it so that they can collect hundreds of millions of dollars more from the broadcast, the post-debate punditry reach-around show, and the endless rehashing in their 24-hour regurgitation of the shit show until the next one.

This election is all over but for the voting, folks. The media accountants won.

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